This Valentine’s, I’m gonna talk about how I try to maintain a healthy love relationship. I use the word “try” because not all things and moods go in your favour all the time, and I’ve always believe that effort is inevitable to make (ANY kind of) relationships work.
1. Never compare.
I know it’s easy to get envious of what other people do, but don’t go to your boyfriend and say, “Who and who surprised his girlfriend like this like that, very sweeeeeeetttttt horrrrrr!!!” Then look at him as if he owes you something. Or worse, tell him all about the Taiwan / Korean drama scenes you’ve watched and request for similar treatment. (WHAT!) Firstly, every couple works differently. Maybe some guys shower their girls with expensive gifts because they don’t have time for them or simply because they are rich playboys. And secondly, dramas are called dramas for a reason. Get real. Comparison kills.
2. Expect less.
“The higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment.” It is true. So the best is lower your expectations, and just embrace whatever that comes your way. You’ll be much happier this way. Like I was telling my girlfriends two days ago that I doubt Loti would get me anything this Valentine’s ‘cos I’ve already said that I don’t find a need to, but he still went ahead and surprised me with a watch that I randomly said was nice. It totally caught me off guard and I was touched yet a lil’ guilty for having minimal preparation. Oops!
Stop complaining about what he has not done, and thank him for all the little things he has done for you. He’ll feel appreciated and continue doing things that will bring a smile to your face without you telling him so.
4. Slack, not.
If you have that mentality that goes, “Oh, I’m attached now. Nobody wants to look at me la. I can not dress up and grow fat but my boyfriend still loves me.” Really? Then don’t kao pei when your boyfriend look at other hot babes lor. Guys are visual creatures; so to keep him enticed, make an effort to keep up your looks. I’m not asking you to be supermodel material, but at least have decent grooming and clothes. He’d also be proud to have a (subjectively) pretty girlfriend strutting beside him.
5. Tolerate. If not, compromise.
Don’t kick up a fuss over the most trivial matters. If he’s say, late for a date and apologetic about it, just let it pass ‘cos there’s no point picking a fight. Say for another instance, both of you loveeeeee chicken drumlets (and it’s something impossible to change), then make a tiny pact – you eat the wings this time, and he lets you have the drums next time (and the pattern repeats).
6. Ignorance is not bliss.
Transparency yo. Your whereabouts, the people you’re seeing, your text messages, etc. Nope, don’t be a freaky paranoid possessive partner. Do it tactfully. I’ve made a mistake in trusting 100% before and I landed in deep shit. Read Xiaxue’s entry about trust and you’ll understand. It’s effing well said.
7. “Break up” is a taboo.
I don’t believe in plaster relationships. Break patch break patch break patch, buey sian meh!?!!? I’m sure you know the story of ‘The Boy Who Cried Wolf.’ One day, when you say “break up” taking for granted that he’ll still come back fighting for you, he won’t. People do get tired and there’s only so much rejection a heart can take.
8. Hugs and kisses are free btw.
Intimacy is important in a relationship so why be a miser when it comes to giving puny squeezes (NOT GROPES) and little pecks. It makes your partner feel loved without spending a single cent at all. But don’t be overly generous and arouse / turn off everyone around you in public. Get a room.
Yup that’s about it. Disclaimer ah, what I THINK works for me may not work for you. Maybe your guy loves big boobies so just stuff yours in his face and he might buy you more Louis Vuitton bags 😉
Love IS hard work. Remember, rejection only requires one reason while love requires complete acceptance. (I’ve mentioned this before.)
Finally, if you have the patience to read all the way till this point, happy valentine’s to you! If not, FFFFFFFUUUUUUUU and may you be #foreveralone!!! LOL just kidding! Good day ahead, everyone!