The extreme high cost of living in Singapore is such a turn off. Unless me and my partner’s incomes increase by a fold, having kids will be a struggle. It’s not even about the ridiculous prices in the beginning ($600 per month child care, $80 milk powder, $XXXX toys and god-knows-what); the costs will continue to grow for at least two more decades, especially when wage stagnation, unemployment, over population, and competition will all be more apparent in the future. If they grow up useless, I don’t want to continue providing them for the rest of my life.
2. Screwed up society.
This is becoming very real. Look at the kids these days. Secondary school kids dressing up and behaving like adults; college students starting families due to unplanned pregnancies; underage smoking and drinking etc. Yes, it depends on the upbringing, but we still can’t control what they pick up from their friends and everything on the internet.
3. So stress.
I don’t want my children to go through what I’m going through multiply by ten. The stress and pressure (especially in Singapore) will only get worse. And we are not just fighting against our own people, we have to fight against more and more imported people. Doesn’t help that our government are more protective over them than us citizens, though they are trying to look like they’re not.
4. F A T.
My waistline armline legline neckline are all gonna expand like balloons, and I’m afraid that I won’t have enough time or self-determination to shave those extra KGs off. Even if I do, I don’t think anything can save me from those nasty stretch marks.
5. Bye bye freedom.
Freedom to travel. This alone, is enough to rob my soul away.
I’ve gossiped and laughed too much. I’m really afraid that all the bad things that I’ve said about others will all happen to my kids.
7. I might forget about my kid.
Leaving my kid on a table / in a cab and walking away after that sounds like something I’ll be guilty of. I’m so absent minded I can’t take care of myself and my belongings, how can I look after another human being?
8. Who’s gonna take care?
Nows a days, both parents have to work in order to support a family (unless you marry someone rich). Working parents will leave their children either in the hands of their own parents or a childcare. The former will spoil your kid, and the latter will run into attention and hygiene problems which will make doctor trips a routine.
9. Hassle much.
Every time you go out – milk bottle, milk powder / breast pump, stroller, toys / iPad, dunno-simi-wako that will take up one big bag. Good if you can afford a car; good luck if you’re on public transport. When they start wailing or throw tantrums, everyone is gonna throw dagger stares at you.
10. Harder if things don’t work out.
Adultery, dying love, simply cannot live together; there are many reasons that call for THE extreme solution – a divorce. However, having kids makes separation even more difficult and painful.
11. Above all, I’m selfish.
Yup I am, and having children are not for selfish people. You must be selfless. You must give and provide without expecting anything in return. You must sacrifice without complaining. If you procreate because you want your next generation to take care of you, then don’t bother, ‘cos the mentality is wrong to begin with.
Can’t believe that I used to wanna get married and 24 and have kids at 25. Now that I’m 25+, things that happened along the way totally changed my mindset. Though I’m pretty firm right now, things will change again later so it’s good to jot down my current “I don’t want kids” mindset. Ten or twenty years later, I’ll look back at this entry with either with agreement, regret, or with my own kiddos sitting on my lap.