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Archive for the ‘ Bad Day ’ Category
原本以为就算到了最后要是真的无法在一起， 至少可以画上一个完美的句号。
但，就连分手后的你还有本事令我伤心、 失望。 一段四年半的感情， 你说忘就忘， 一走就无影无踪。 我还在原地踏步是为什么？ 我又还在盼望着什么？ 朋友们对你的改变都感到很惊讶， 可能这就是你所谓的 “今日不如往事” 吧。 我怀念的你， 早在两年前消失了。 现在的你， 已是另一个人了。
再也没有什么好留念了。 我会很努力很努力彻彻底底地死了这条心， 像你一样不会回头。 但我一点也不可怜， 我一定会过得更好。 谢谢你让我学会怎么去看清一个人。 你不需要祝福我， 因为我也不可能会祝福你。
To forgive, divine?
Today is the third day but it already seems like a month. Everything still feels so unbelievable.
But I know I’m not alone. I appreciate all the concern from everyone; be it the company, a phone call, a text, or even a fb / twitter message. Thanks for the listening ear, the stand ups, the comforts, the advises, the enlightenments. Thanks for feeling me.
At the end of the day, the final decision lies in me. No one else knows you or our relationship more than I do. Is it worthy to take on another gamble of faith?
Learning things the hard way is never easy. I would still want to believe that everything happens for a reason. If this is meant to be a wake up call, time and effort will prove it.
I was supposed to be out with someone today. Prolly at some nice place sipping tea, chit chatting our hearts away, but I didn’t make it happen.
Partly because I woke up real late; partly because I was feeling lazy; partly because I was half-hearted; partly also because I felt that the other party was kind of half-hearted too. Sometimes I wonder about friendships, a lot. Especially about new friendships. What is the point of keeping in contact? Why should I bother?
The problem with me is that I always plunge too deep into friendships and I hate it. When I’m excited about a meet-up, I expect the other party to be too. When I do something nice, I expect the other party to be at least appreciative. When I give my heart and soul, I expect something in return.
FYI I’m not speaking of anyone in specific here. I’m just having a one-of-those-reflecting-about-life days. Sigh wtv. Sometimes I really feel like backing myself away from everyone else except for those whom I know I can truly rely on. I’m tired.
I hate it when people pungsei me, so maybe I’d make it up by arranging another appointment. Maybe IDK.
Alright. I was apologetic for the bad attitude I gave when you asked me for a favour. My temper flared, for whatever reasons, but didn’t I still went ahead to do it, and didn’t I already apologize and go talk to you in a nice tone after that? I can totally take it if you don’t so-called “forgive” me immediately, but why those words?
“Why not I give you $300 a month and you be my mother?”
Firstly, to be precise, it’s $350. Secondly, I pay for my own bills, insurance, meals, transport, and I’ve never took a single cent from you since I started working (unless times when you insist, like loose change etc). Thirdly, be glad that I even give you money and to be honest, it isn’t a small amount from what I’m earning. FYI, it was 100% out of my own willingness and I wished I could give you more. Oh, and what happened to those treats and extra money I gave you once in a while?
That’s it. I’m officially pissed. Intentional or not, those words sting. Sting like a bitch.
Fuck knights in shining armours, prince charming or whatsoever heroes because I am Kaiyi AND I AM MY OWN SUPERWOMAN muahahah! Except that I can't fly, and er, I don't wear my undies on the outside.
