I was supposed to be out with someone today. Prolly at some nice place sipping tea, chit chatting our hearts away, but I didn’t make it happen.
Partly because I woke up real late; partly because I was feeling lazy; partly because I was half-hearted; partly also because I felt that the other party was kind of half-hearted too. Sometimes I wonder about friendships, a lot. Especially about new friendships. What is the point of keeping in contact? Why should I bother?
The problem with me is that I always plunge too deep into friendships and I hate it. When I’m excited about a meet-up, I expect the other party to be too. When I do something nice, I expect the other party to be at least appreciative. When I give my heart and soul, I expect something in return.
FYI I’m not speaking of anyone in specific here. I’m just having a one-of-those-reflecting-about-life days. Sigh wtv. Sometimes I really feel like backing myself away from everyone else except for those whom I know I can truly rely on. I’m tired.
I hate it when people pungsei me, so maybe I’d make it up by arranging another appointment. Maybe IDK.