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Tag: LOL (page 1 of 2)

My Own Singapore Tourist Meme

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Received Your New iBanking Secure Device?

If you’re staring at the red one in the middle, you’re outdated la. Check out my latest iBank device on the extreme right. It is BIGGER, better, much much more secure (with a shitload of buttons making it impossible to hack), and most importantly, it provides extreme convenience. Now it’s so huge I won’t ever lose my ibank device again, YAY! 😀

Disclaimer: JOKE HOR, DBS. JOKE. Laugh lei.

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Bad Shop Names

Saw this at Little India earlier on, and I couldn’t help but take a photo.

Then, I thought of a photo going viral in Facebook a while ago.

Indian cum HAHAHAHAHA. (Photo credit: Eileena Lee.)

Someone please cum forth and take action prease. Stop approving all these kind of sai names lei.

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Unfortunately, That’s How We Communicate

Hahahaha. It’s amazing how I found another shitty human being to talk shit to me.

Oh, look at the time. It’s 4am! I can now add on to the list, “I think of you when it’s 4am.” Right, time to sleep!

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Woman asks: If I sleep with 3 men, everyone calls me a slut. But when a man sleeps with 8 girls, everyone calls him a real man. How come?

Confucius says: It’s very simple. When one lock can be opened by 3 different keys, it’s a bad lock. But when one key can open 8 different locks, we call it a master key.

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Pokemon in Real Life

This is fcuking hilarious shit!

Man, the Game Boy days. People from my era will know what I mean.

Should I Fire My Maid?

Last time my grandma hired a maid.

She did most of the work so my grandma trusted her and supported her.

Over the years, the maid roped in her relatives and daughter to work for us too and told us to trust them and give them mandate so they can work faster.

With the mandate, they started increasing their pay so much that 2 hours of their work is equal to a months salary for the family they work for. Plus, the maids dun wanna retire and gave herself MM or Maid Mentor, SM – Senior Maid and PM Primary Maid positions, so we ended up paying for 3 people to see the maid do the job of 1 person. Plus, they hired a helper whose job is only ceremonial and make prata for us. We checked with our neighbours and realised their maid paid much less than ours and we are effectively paying 20 times more than them for the job of 1.

Recently, their work performance also suffered. They decided to work 2 weeks once every 4 years now. My clothes, dishes all not washed. Now I come home to see a flood every 5 days ‘cos the floor was covered with dirt and they blamed my parents for shedding hair that cause the drain to clogged. When I was away and afraid that my limping pet dog would escape, they hired a relative to take care of it but my dog escaped anyway. The caretaker just bo chup tell me the dog is either still in the house or outside the house and starting combing through the drawers to find it. Last I heard, the dog was found by my neighbour who refused to return it to me.

Lastly, they open the gates of my house and invite all sorts of their friends in to snatch my TV, my bed, my food and so on. I dun even feel like I am in my own house at all with all the strangers. They can’t do their jobs and their cooking is terrible! Their mee siam with hum taste so bad that I lost weight over the years.

So I wanted to change maids but I think they overheard and started fixing all the applicants. Then they also suddenly so nice buy me carrot cake with my money and tell me they will upgrade my PC if I continue hiring them.

I want to fire them but they have my money with them ‘cos they borrowed it last time to gamble. When they win they celebrated, but when they lose they just tell me pay me back later at age 65.

So how, should I bite the bullet and fire them???

My grandma has glaucoma and has since lost her eyesight still support them deeply leh.

From a Facebook note.

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An Apple Evangelist’s Worst Nightmare


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All Kinds of Pads

The most useful gift ever muahahahaa.

I like mine soft and fluffy!

I’m talking about marshmallows here yo. Ha! Cuuuute right! Cousin Peimin bought these for me from Macau, and she says there’re even condom chocolates. WTF why so interesting one!!

Then during CNY visiting yesterday, I was playing Taboo with cousins, and my brother made history again.

For those who don’t know this game, basically you have to make people guess the word on the card through verbal description without using the five banned words below, which in this case, the given word was “PAD.”

My brother described it as, “You know the girl downstairs. Got blood. Then must use something.” ROFL. Everyone totally didn’t see that coming from him! I remembered last CNY, he was trying to describe the word “BUSH”, and he said something like “Your downstairs. Got a bunch. Black colour one.” *Palms face. So now you know, your downstairs is not necessarily your neighbour.

The last pad, iPads!

Owned by these five-year-old and four-year-old kids. I this forever twenty one also don’t have lor.

Zijie playing the piano and looking away at the same time. He likes to act cool like that! 😀

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Angel Orh-Pi-Sai

WAHAHAHA darn bo liao.

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